Hi Lucy,
sorry to hear your friend has had a reccurance. I think it will depend on wether the axillary node is positive or not, as to what stage she would be at, but good news the CT was clear elsewhere.
My melanoma spread from my ankle to the nodes in my groin, where I had a dissection, then spread to my pelvic nodes, where I had a further clearance. I was confused as to what stage I was at, but my oncologist did not consider the spread from one basin to the next, as in my case and possibly your friends, distant spread, which would put one at stage 4. Although I was told by some dr.s I was in a grey area between 3/4, I was more reassured when I was allowed onto the Avastin trial which is for stage 3. They accepted me on the basis I had clear scans of elsewhere, which thankfully I did
I really hope things settle down for her, she must feel caught in a bit of a whirlwind at the moment. Keep listening, and I'm sure she really appreciates your support.
Ruth x